Feelings.

As I feel i am going back and forth with things in my life, A matter of confusion hits me.

I feel though that i have found my purpose in life but kinda feel a sense of blockage. Not that i am stopping myself but merely other people are.

I feel a road block, this control rearing its ugly head just at a time i am finally feeling strong enough, confidant enough to go further in my life to get passed what has gone before and how i couldn't do allot before as the hardship i was going through was tuff to get through.

I just feel this is something i gotta fight, no matter how hard it will be, sure i think i will fall a few times as this feels to me a challenge of some sorts.

I feel i will need to not only teach myself that "I AM important" but that other people in my life have to see it to, that its not all about them, and that I do have feelings and for me to be happy i need to do what i feel is right for MY life.

its hard. Confusing to. But. I . CAN. DO. IT. I Can not forget how far i have come, how much i have achieved so far and how i did it all on my own with no emotional help. And yet this next challenge for me, this hiccup, just seems SO much harder. but than again i been through the worst, surely this can not be much worst, can it?

Teaching someone to see MY feelings, Teaching them to be in MY shoes, see MY point of view and not just their own. TO teach these people around me something THEY themselves never learned.

Yeah challenging just seems like an understatement.


I think its going to take Courage, Determination and a whole lot of Love for myself, NOT to let anyone change me, I been their once and it was not nice, now that i am out of that bag and finally learning to be true to myself, that now things are beginning to come at me from all sides. Maybe its Gods way of testing me, or maybe just maybe its to see how much I've learned and how strong i really am.