UK and USA possibilities

Today whilst in the coffee shop enjoying a coffee, I felt this feeling of what I can only describe as love and appreciation, You see I live in the UK, Well England to be more specific, And have so far 20+ years it's something that once I got to 20 I just kinda lost count of the years so now whenever someone asks me how long I've lived here I just add the + sign so I don't have to actually think about the time. But Lately I been on a different road in my life, going through spiritual growing pains, OR maybe to put it more bluntly Spiritual awakening/ Kundalini awakening. It feels like a mesh of two. kinda like two seasons that smash together if that is even humanly possible. Still, I been om this road of finding my way financially. I been reading books lately which doesn't seem to be me, I never was (as now i actually am) a book person, I stumbled across a book that got me started. But the thing i am noticing is I had this idea of wanting to make my relationship for the lack of the word better with how I see money. I also noticed that I went from job to job never lasting and when I mean NEVER I actually me NEVER even from my first job at 16. I always hated to be told what to do, I somehow was and still am a rebel to some sorts. But only this year I have realized and took the leap to stop working. I think it took some faith and the fact I am lucky to have someone support this for me whilst I am on this journey. It started with me selling on ebay more, then I got fired up, then got scammed (but hey that's business right?) to then getting super anxiety about the sound coming up on ebay thinking its someone complaining, I then stumbled to Amazon selling etc. Still I have this burning desire to work between two countries ( england and america) I mean all my family lives in America so it gives me more opportunities then most, To be a reseller, OR to craft etc. Being between two countries has never been easy, I miss my family then i miss england when I am in America, it's like a never ending battle I can't win. But then i realized lately that because I am so passionate to be able to deal with money in both countries. I thought the only way I can see family more and have the financial freedom I so desire and so deserve is to make it work in two countries somehow, someway What once seemed like a hardship me being in England and my family being in US, Has flipped itself into an idea that not many people can have it takes pain and missing to a whole other level. Sure it doesn't mean it will be easy. HArdship flows where ever in the universe you may ride but you deal with it when it comes And if you are passionate about what you want and know what you don't want, Who can stop you? The fact it could open many doorways i never knew possible makes it that much more exciting. ITs begs the question on HOW it can work? and what i do to make that happen? Then it makes me question Can I really make the impossible, possible? would this path completely change me even more then i am already changing at this very moment? Will I loose people along this path? along this way? Will it consume me to the point I live and breath being who i am meant to be? can I go against the grain and tread where others do not dare to tread? Can I pursue something I have yet to know what i'm pursuing? Could this take me down many other paths into a big circle, Just when I think I know where i am going I suddenly don't? Who knows ? But it will sure be fun giving this a go! whatever it may lead me.

Healing

I realized so much about myself and the world around me in the past 5 years and I had this thinking this morning that I really have two levels of healing to go through. I know that I have done some really good healing so far, but I feel my soul is feeling to go in another direction, I need to do somethings I enjoy doing, Spend sometime with myself, Travel, Get my hair done, Go to the movies, Get on a train and go to a different high street away from this town. I suppose most people take that stuff for granted or maybe it seems like a natural part of life. But I lost so much of myself, Going through a really bad hardship I've had to reconnect to myself, Learn what I like and what I don't. When you let the world or other people tell you what they want for you, And do things to be liked, You somehow get lost and that's it's taken me as long as it has to get to where I am now.

I know this part 1 I need to go through seems hurtful, Though it does seem fun don't get me wrong but it is very hard at the same time to. I know this is what I must do though. And I know whatever happens I will be fine to. In order to get my life on track to open doors, to move to where I want to be at this time on my path I need to continue to move forward.

I just hope on this path I inspire others to be exactly what their meant to be.