Ur Best Self

I have been doing meditation for over 2 weeks now. I have to say I really enjoy this, Not only does it give me inner peace but when i do not do it for a few days my body actually craves it!

Its almost like food is needed for the body, And than their is spiritual food for the soul, Now I understand it now. It has also helped me to grow up rather fast to! I been able to be more assertive, more mature in my decisions and an all around better person. I been able to let go of toxic situations and people more easily (which i was finding hard at points.)

I also realize life is more than what it appears to be to, I feel like i am walking between two worlds, I do not know how really go into detail about it.

I also find our choices shape our destiny to, And everything happens for a reason and its okay to make mistakes, its okay if we do not like some people (it doesn't make us perfect) I used to be a person that wanted to be "liked" I believe half the world people want to be "liked".

However it isn't important to me and anything i do or don't do is my business and if others have problems with it, Well that is just their problem. I feel to truly feel free, To truly live the life you want, You have to drop what others say. Otherwise you are letting others "control" your life by what they think rather than what you think.

I know that i am happy and content in what i must do with my life, But i also know that if my parents didn't agree or tried to mess it up because they don't approve, I would ditched them, IF they can not understand why I do what I do, and Why i do it, and have a problem with it, I wouldn't want to be around them. I don't feel i want any part of negative people around me and that includes family, Thou i would always have that unconditional love their for them, But this is my life and if i must walk alone, I will, and I know i am able to do so.

I know God will take care of me, He will bring people in my life to help me along the way, So i have no worries and no fear.

Any good deed i do, is to please the creator, to show love where love is needed.
Everyone else comes second to this.

In other news,

I feel I want a commitment, but as much as i do have my reservations about this, I am open to it, Its just I have been hurt way too much in my life, Put myself in situations where I ended up being controlled, felt stuck , wasn't strong enough to overcome that control, Now that 4 years have passed from a really rubbish and painful marriage. I feel more stronger, more freer, I found my purpose now and i am all around happy!

But i would love to be a mom now, Okay not right this minute!

But I want something so profound so strong, serious and someone on my team, Someone that has that fire inside them that wants to make a difference to this world, Wants to bring the world "back" to love etc.

Its not about "having" someone because i simply cant be on my own, i have been for 4 years now, I don't want to be with someone because of loneliness NO, but because two hearts are better than one with this mission i want to achieve, and plus its just another path to growing and learning, just like wanting to be a parent, i don't want to be a parent because its a "normal" thing but rather to bring children into this world to bring love to it, I have plans my kids will be involved in my mission the moment they can walk at 1 or 2 years old, they will help me bake things for the homeless, maybe visit nursing homes etc.


People always assume i am like everyone else, And that can get so frustrating and yet they are shocked to find out my way 0f thinking, but yet they do not want to bother to even get to know me first before they pass judgements, I maybe turning 28 next month but i am so not the typical woman and i just wish someone would just take time to just see that.